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Video caption by the author: Foreign so if you're a long time subscriber there's a couple of videos I might have brought you here one of them might be the very first video I ever made it's still up today but considering it was a tick tock compilation I slapped together and it was back when I used Apple.
Headphones as a mic the quality is trash in fact we're watching that video nearly made me cringe myself into a hernia in an honesty if the views didn't go crazy I definitely would have vaulted it like nature did the dinosaurs or the Bundy Hornets whatever happened to them well with the recent upgrade in the production quality of my channel I.
Figured why not remake the video that probably got you here in the first place so here's how to survive a moose attack you don't actually have a choice in the matter you see the key word here is attack the road to getting a moose aggravated often comes with a total price of your life and honestly you're probably safer in front of a bear than a.
10-foot tank with antlers with Predators you can convince them that you're not worth the effort but there is no negotiating with something that thinks you're actively trying to turn into calories so the best way to survive a moose attack is to not even let it get to that point so here are some signs that a moose is considering turning You.
From One of a Kind to another in a pint if a move stops eating or drinking and suddenly stares at you you got the moose's tension and it's in your life's interest to give it back if a moose shows you the whites of his eyes soon you'll be seeing the sight of God's skies and if the ears are pinned back his mind's on attack and this goes for.
Pretty much all animals once the ears go flat then the next few seconds are going to be very crucial to continuing your way of life and I don't entirely know why but if a moose urinates while looking at you it's a sign of ill intent I'm guessing it's like a territorial thing but wherever you came from us where you need to be heading and if a.
Moose lowers his head and starts approaching you that is likely the last warning that doesn't come with a hospital bill of course none of that really matters because a four-legged armored truck with the ability to make conscious choices they'll just choose to charge you unprovoked because there is no playbook in nature that the Messiah.
Is going to follow at which point your options are limited but you're going to want to get into a car a shed or a building or at the very least put something between you and the Moose like a tree or even a mailbox or something and if violence is inevitable you're going to want to curl into a ball protector vital organs and forgive those.
Who may have wronged you in the past so the Hate in Your Heart doesn't weigh you down as you go to the clouds but most importantly don't get up right after the move stops trampling you because that could motivate the most to star in the sequel of your assault basically the whole make yourself the bigger thing yeah yeah do the exact opposite with a.
Moose don't stand your ground because at the moment it's not yours you're dealing with the lord of the north and nothing short of a magazine with no words or freed Willy is stopping him you can expect more than 10 off when the Moose is involved especially when it's a mother with a calf or a male in ruts and for those of you that already know what.
Writing is I'm 90 sure I know how you know and I'm 90 disappointed in you however the Moose usually isn't trying to hurt you so the less of a threat you are the less danger you're in can't really say that for these guys though here's how to survive a chimp attack yeah funny thing about that either you don't or you wish you didn't look if you.
Already follow me then you already know what chimps are what they're capable of people think they're cute because they look like humans when they should be scared because they act like them too I actually have a list on how to survive a chimp attack but if you're in a position where you can get touched up by one then you've already ignored steps one through.
Five step six is to lease a coffin but let's say you effed around and now you're trying not to find out don't smile or show teeth since this can be interpreted as a sign of aggression it's their version of flashing your piece eye contact with a chip is a good way to make contact with your ancestors since this can be directly seen as a challenge.
However if it's ship is already coming at you with violence and it might be time to pick a color for your casket there is one weakness chimps have that might just save you because chimpanzees are built like Michelangelo statues they're relatively low body fat and top heavy body composition means chimps can't really swim so if you happen to be.
Near a body of water diving into the deep end where a chimp can't follow you might be the only thing that saves you now here's a video of a chimp doing exactly what I just said they couldn't so I guess the real advice here is be an organ donor because at least whatever they find left of you can go on to benefit someone else because it's not.
Like you're gonna need it now let's talk about bears you've probably heard the popular rhyme for Bear safety and that's if it's black fight back if it's Brown Get on the ground and if it's white like a cloud you're gonna die but there are some misconceptions with this and some of those misconceptions could get you put on the shirt so we're going to talk.
About it Bear by bear with black bears you're going to want to fight back but that doesn't mean just start throwing hands at the bear because a bear of any kind is folding any man like Sunday laundry but what you want to do is make yourself look like a threat stand up tall talk loud and firmly and if you have a bag or a jacket or something.
Raise it over your head to make yourself look bigger black nightmare seem to constantly forget who they are and instead choose to identify as overweight raccoons so they can be intimidated now with brown bears you're going to want to get on the ground but not for the reason some people might tell you some people say to play dead since Bears don't like.
To eat prey that's already past tense Bears will eat literally anything including other baby bears so they're not about to miss out on free protein just because the expiration date might be off but also Bears aren't stupid you see playing possum works for possums because they're not playing they actually pass out and go into a panic.
Coma where no amount of pushing or prodding wakes them up also they'll drool and release a foul smell to really sell the bit so unless you plan on committing to the role that hard it's not gonna help you while you actually get on the ground is to look as unintimidating and non-threatening as possible so basically none of the things.
You do with a black bear you're going to want to lay down clasp your hands around your neck and then spread your legs to make it harder to flip you over but the most important thing and I cannot stress this enough do not run a bear can keep Pace with a horse over a short distance so all running does is guarantee you get made into a memory sooner especially.
Since bears with the largest terrestrial Predators on the planet while also having the endurance of a CrossFit junkie and some sometimes the bear will test their Instincts by charging most charges however are bluffs and the worst thing you can do for your health is due to race with a homicide case with pause also whoever said Bears can't run.
Downhill was actively trying to sell the human race yes they can in thinking they can't will be your downfall but the best way to survive a bear attack is to avoid one in the first place so if you're ever hiking in Bear Country you're actually going to want to make noise which sounds counterintuitive but making a lot of noise actually tells the bear where you.
Are and allows it to avoid conflict in the first place also since Bears have a hypersensitive nose and sense of smell carrying bear spray can be the difference between going home in peace and resting there in pieces bear spray is said to save people from Serious injury and bear encounters 98 of the time God bless you if you're in that two.
Percent there is a catch though everything I just said applies to territorial encounters with bears if a bear comes at you on predatory timing then my only advice is to make peace with the higher being of your choosing predatory bear attacks on humans are rare but when they do happen someone gets put on the news and that's why if.
The Bear in your presence is a polar bear then it's up and by it I mean your time on Earth polar bears are hyper carnivores so while other bears are omnivorous polar bears are all meat all the time and since polar bears can smell their next meal from an area code Away by the time you see him just know he's been plotting on you there was one tip.
That says polar bears have ADHD and undressing and tossing articles of clothing will distract it long enough for you to escape but unless you have like an unlocked car or a bearproof house all you've done is guarantee that you now die naked and cold and if the bear somehow doesn't get you whoever finds your body gets to see exactly how.
Your life ended now half the reason I work out is so that if I ever suffer an untimely death then I can leave behind a respectable corpse but considering this is probably happening in the ice chilled Arctic they probably just assume I was compensating for something if you know you know the guys sure do but yeah if it's black fight back if it's brown you.
Better hug the ground and if it's white like nose powder then if it'd be your final hour and speaking of final hour here's how to survive a hippo attack no you're not going to and if you're disappointed by that then that's a failure of your own expectations and considering we're like halfway through the video if you click genuinely looking.
For hippo advice and I'm assuming you're watching this from God's data plan hippos are the heaviest things on four legs without a trunk or a horn they divide crocodiles without calculator and subtract an estimated 500 people from the population a year and if we're being honest it's probably higher show me someone who survived a hippo attack and.
I'll show you someone you should get lottery numbers from so my only advice to surviving this whale Karen throwing a fit is to uninstall yourself so he doesn't get credit for the kill unless you're exercising the right to bear absolute heat in which case I hope you like seafood because he's going to eat some shells then again since hippos are.
As close as you can get to being bulletproof self-deletion might be the easiest way out ironically in this entire video the cougar might be the most survivable out of any animal here the rules for surviving the cougar are pretty simple try to travel in groups avoid being out at dawn or Dusk and if one tries to offer you a drink just.
Remember nothing in this life is free now when surviving the actual catch the rules are a little different you see cougars are actually naturally wary of people and I'm perfectly happy avoiding humans so if a puma ever presses you like in this video it's likely you accidentally stumbled into some Cubs and now you got to see the mama about it.
Back away slowly all running does is tell the cougar that you're something worth chasing also with Ambush Hunters the worst thing you can do when a cat confronts you is turn your back to it because that makes it more likely to pounce you're going to want to stand stand up tall and back away slowly while speaking in a loud firm voice it doesn't.
Matter what you say you can recite the entire script for the B Movie as long as it's loud enough for the cougar to hear you no you shoot can I attack you guys are looking away from you dude what do you want me to do.
Come on this sucks you can also throw things not at but near the cougar however if you crouch down to pick something up or take your eyes off the cougar then you've broken two rules in one move just keep Moon walking and understand if the cougar wanted you off the census you'd already.
Be trending on Twitter this advice pretty much applies for big cats too however if you find yourself staring down a line first of all probably took a lot of bad life decisions to end up there and it's likely your fault but pay attention to its tail if it's swaying from side to side that means the line feels threatened which is good because.
That means it can still be negotiated with but if the Tail's rigid and not moving at all then it's likely a predatory encounter in which case the only thing up for a negotiation will be the cost of your casket in Tiger country it's often advised to wear a backwards mask to convince the ambushing big cat that it's already lost to element of.
Surprise but with tiger attacks on the rise it's likely the striped demons are calling the bluff bluffing's probably your only option against a kangaroo like with the moose and the brown bear your goal is to convince the steroid rabbit that you're as little of a threat as possible and you do that by avoiding eye contact and not facing a macropod.
Directly and if a kangaroo starts putting the paws on you you're going to want to curl into a ball take the hits and pray because if kangaroo hauls off and kicks you you're probably not getting back up but if you want a kangaroo cheat code lower your head keep your hands close to your body and cough a deep cough is similar to The Sound.
Weaker males make to submit to a bigger stronger Alpha roof it's basically giving the kangaroo the right of way as you can see this woman failed to cough and now she's coughing up a kidney so I guess what kangaroos you have two choices you can either have a coughing fit or be fit in a coffin but you don't have options when you're dealing with.
The most dangerous animal Humanities ever seen and that's because it's Humanity itself so if you ever happen to wake up and find that you're a wild animal here's how to survive a human attack first is to understand that you are likely screwed and any outcome that doesn't end in one less of you likely will end in something worse and the.
Sooner you can accept that the sooner you can be at peace now humans may look like the lightworker the great ape group being significantly weaker than orangutans gorillas and chimps but they make up for it the same way that bully kid makes up for years of Torment with a suspiciously shaped duffel bag in the intent of lighting up the school like a.
Christmas tree you can try to run but the homo sapien race used to literally chase their prey into heat stroke since they're able to sweat and cool down down while actively running you into the ground of course that's when a hunter with Spears now they use their father's Boomstick to blow you off the senses while still being too far for you to add.
Any input to the matter make no mistake without claws Venom or a strong bite force an unarmed human might seem like an easy W Until you realize that humans work as a massive monkey Mafia where if you hurt or mark one of their own they exterminate your entire family and honestly that's the nicest thing they'll do because the other option involves.
Being captured and taken as a spectacle in their society where they will imprison you break you down and punish you for being yourself just like high school but the worst part of it all when the Deuces hit the fan and someone gets put on a shirt they'll blame you for being what you've always been they'll Slaughter hundreds of millions of your.
Kind and then Gaslight you to convince themselves that you're the problem all while actively destroying the natural order that existed billions of years before them because humans aren't God but they sure love to play it so the only way to survive a human attack is to readjust your goals and just enjoy the show before a hairless oppression monkey.
With a superiority complex comes by and cancels it but that's going to do it for this video for more consistent content be sure to follow my Instagram program and Tick Tock I try to post daily on both and if you haven't already be sure to check out my new book on 100 deadly animals that can RSVP your place in a cemetery and if you'd like to support.
This channel Beyond just subscribing my patreon is also going to be in the description but other than that drink water hug your mother and be safe out there because the only thing more of a menace and the animal behind the cage is the one outside it.
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